Ever started talking to a random person one day who is now a big big highlight of your life? How was it in starting? When the conversation just used to sort of happen? When you used to talk to them all day and night without any forced initiated talk? When all of it was in perfect sync and you were able to talk to them with ease? When you both began to obsess over each other’s existence? Telling each other things you never thought you’d tell anyone out loud? When you, deep and intense talker gave an insight of your intellect to them?
All was good. Right?
And now that person has become a constant in your life. Sort of engraved. But, however! You’re out of sync with them. The conversations are short and boring. The topics are forced. The talks are little. You don’t know how and what to talk about. But, everyday you still don’t give up. Trying your best to get back in flow with them…just like it was initially. How is that working for you? Are you succeeding? Even remotely?
What changed? Is it you? Is it the person? Is it you both as two separate individuals who changed? Or is it the equation between you two? Is it ruined forever, without you both wanting this ruin? Does this impact the place they have in your life? Knowing you will probably never get back in sync with them no matter how hard any of you try!
How to curb? Is there any solution to getting back in sync with the highlight of your life?
The gulps you get and that inescapable forcefulness and the feeling of fear you get in your gut while talking to them or being around them, secretly wanting everything to be as back in those days, wanting for that ease to return.
Thinking to yourself constantly – “will it ever be like before with that Constant?” and crossing fingers, badly hoping for it.
Perhaps it’s alright, it’s okay.
Until next time.